I wanted to do a few quick things.
One, is share something truly touching. After my previous post where I stated my intention to stay Mormon, I was concerned about how Ricardo was going to react to this news. I told him I hoped he wasn’t too upset or disappointed with my decision. He said, “your decision is fine, its yours, cherish it as i do mine,” and then the next day he told me, “i decided to back you up and support you…..i have ur back when it comes to ur decision to stay.” I was really touched by his response since my biggest concern was of course how Ricardo was going to react to my decision. His reaction is helping me be excited about our future together, despite our differences 🙂
The second thing is that I already am feeling more at peace. It just feels really good to be moving forward with my life 🙂
The last thing I wanted to do is bear my non-traditional Mormon testimony, and tell you all the things I believe and hope for, even if those things are not things the church teaches:
I hope there is a Heavenly Mother and Father who love us and want to be with us forever. I hope these heavenly parents are the ones who have been answering my prayers all these years. That thought brings me joy. I hope Christ lived and that he had a sacred mission. I accept him as my Savior, based on a hope that he was an important person to humanity. I hope temples have some higher purpose, they certainly are sacred places to me. I know I feel peace when I read the good stories in the scriptures. I hope that means God inspired these books, on some level, which have always been sacred to me. I don’t take these books literally, but I hope they are still largely inspired. I hope that the Mormon church is led by God, though I do not look at this as exclusive in any way, since I think other people and organizations can be equally led by God. When I hear the prophet speak, I often feel inspired to be a better person and to improve my life. That gives me hope that he is called by God to lead this church. Sometimes I don’t feel inspired by what the Prophet and Apostles say. I think that’s okay, and I will listen to the things that resonate with my soul and make my own choices based on the things that seem and feel right to me. I believe in a God of love, who loves all his children and wants them all to have the most fulfilling blessings of life, including love from him and love from others. I hope this church, and Jesus Christ, is helping me to be the kind of person who will love well. I hope there is life after death and that people will be with the people they love after this life ends. I really really hope that. I do not know any of these things to be true, but I have hope based on my personal experiences and feelings.
I am certain that I am alive now, so I intend to be a good, loving person in this life, and to find joy and help others find joy wherever it can be found. This life is beautiful, and this life is a gift, of that I am certain, but I do have hope that the beauty of life doesn’t end here.