Helping Hands

Along the way there were a few things that helped Ricardo and I during our Faith journeys. One of those things was podcasts online. I forget where I heard this podcast, but I remember one of the first podcasts I listened to was particularly influential. This woman was talking about how her spouse had left the Mormon church a number of years before. At that time many people wondered why she was staying with him when she wouldn’t be able to be with him eternally since he had left the church and ended their temple marriage and was no longer keeping the commandments. I loved what she said. She said something like, how can people expect their marriage to be eternal if they can’t even stay with that person through this life? She said that she felt like eternal marriage started with eternal love, and she could still work on developing an eternal love for her husband. That just made so much sense to me.

At some point we both started listening to Mormon Stories ( These podcasts were very helpful to me during this time.

In May, 2012, we attended a Mormon Stories conference. This conference was a turning point for Ricardo and I. Ricardo and I both felt so validated and supported. It was a very uplifting experience for me. People’s stories were just so touching, sometimes sad, sometimes hopeful, but they all impacted me. We met lots of great people, including John Dehlin.  John told us he had talked to lots of couples just like us and that we seemed to be handling the situation pretty well. He told me it was a good sign that I was there with Ricardo at the conference, since lots of times the believing spouse is not supportive of the non-believing spouse after they leave the church. He told us that everybody has a journey and it is impossible to know what will happen in the future, and to just do the best we could and be okay with wherever we were at. I just remember leaving that conference feeling like Ricardo and I were going to be okay, we could make it. And on the drive home from the conference we had the best conversation about how we wanted to raise our family. For the first time in a long time, I felt hope about raising kids together. Looking back I remember thinking that if we both just taught our kids the best we could, and respected each other, that we really could both be good parents and make our marriage work.


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