A Summary of Ricardo Since 2011

Initially Ricardo began with exploring problems with LDS church history, so I will start there too. He left the Mormon church and became Catholic again (he was raised catholic, though didn’t attend church much since becoming a teen, which was fine with his parents). He was bothered again by some closed-mindedness and backwards views in the Catholic church–things like saying not to use contraception–and in about January of 2012 he began reading about problems with Christianity and the Bible. By about February or March of 2012 he officially considered himself agnostic, claiming that he hoped there was something after this life and he hoped there was a God of some sort, but that he just didn’t know. During the time since, he has explored Christianity again, but that was very short-lived. He currently is still agnostic, and believes it is unlikely there is a God of any sort. He feels there are probably more logical explanations for the spiritual experiences he has had previously. He is happy still not knowing if there is life after this since he feels he focuses more on the present and living life the best he can. He feels it is more valuable to not know if there is life after death, since it helps you try to live life the fullest you can.

Other than his religious views, which have changed drastically during the last couple years (and during the rest of his life too), and his political views, which have changed somewhat–leaning left quite a bit these days (though I will talk more about specifics on both of these later)–he is the same guy he has always been. His life revolves around his work, which he loves, his family, which he loves :), and movies, the Xbox, computer games, TV shows, books, and staying up to date with current events. He is a dedicated spouse, father, and worker. He is the same wonderful person, who loves me to death and very occasionally drives me crazy by simply being different than me 🙂

One very positive change I have noticed in Ricardo is that he is no longer afraid to be himself. For years I felt like I had a large portion of the control in our relationship, and now we are more balanced. Ricardo stopped letting me try to change who he is. He stopped letting other people and institutions try to change him too. When he was Mormon, he regularly got frustrated/felt guilty about the movies and video games he liked (this frequently was more because he felt judged or pressured to change, more than that he actually wanted to change). Now, he really just embraces who he is and ignores anything that tells him he should be different. He also is always open to new information that will continue changing his views, as long as that information is reputable. He reads constantly and is pretty well informed about the things he wants to be well informed about. The last few years he has read a lot of books about problems with Christianity and the Bible, in the mix with many more books that have nothing to do with religion, like World War Z and anything by James Rollins.

Ricardo has never wavered in his love and dedication to me. When I was questioning everything about myself, including our marriage to some extent, he never questioned his love for me or whether he wanted to be with me. He might yell at people online, he might yell even at his extended family, but he never yells at me, ever. Somehow, for some reason I don’t understand but very much appreciate, I think he holds me on a pedestal above everything else. He is unbelievably patient with my faults and he rarely gets angry. He is a man who has unbelievable self-control. He is smart, amazing at multitasking, loving, and kind. He is a great man.

love

I want to include this summary so that you all know how deeply I love my husband, and hopefully so none of you feel he is a villain in this story.  His journey has been just as painful as mine has been in many ways. This is my story, but I want you all to understand that despite all the venting and frustration that is in this blog (or will be shortly), my husband is a great person, maybe even a better person for what has happened. I’m not really ready to claim that, but he has gained some wonderful traits through this process, and he feels he is a better person now than he was before; I say the jury is still out on that one ;).

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